Facing the Fear of Disappearing into my Own Bubble

A Work Crisis

Between 2015 and 2018 my partner and I organized yoga and meditation retreats in southern Europe. It was an amazing time in which I learned, grew and enjoyed life tremendously. When we decided to return to our home country, the Netherlands, I fell into a work crisis. I asked myself: what role do I want to have in society right now?

At first, I tried continuing in the yoga and retreat business. I had all the skills to organize, host and teach retreats, but somehow it did not feel like the right path anymore. Without my partner, it was just me, and I felt the burden of doing everything by myself. When I started to experience frequent heart palpitations, I knew my stress levels were up too high.

A Retreat from Society

Deep down inside, I also felt it was time to do something different. It was time for me to retreat from society for a while, and to work with the life lessons I learned many years ago. It was time to face my fears, and to give shape to a program that could help other people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks.

It was a decision that brought along a lot of doubts. Is it ok to not have a job for a while? Can I ask my partner to be the breadwinner? Am I ever going to dare to return into society after spending so much time in my own bubble?

Facing my Fears while Creating the Course

With dedication and perseverance I started working on my 4-week online course “Exercises for Anxiety and Panic Attacks”. It was key to me to create a program based on my own experiences with anxiety disorder. To approach my audience from the heart, and not as some distant authority who knows it all.

I spend many hours at home and behind my computer, recording video and audio material and writing a course manual. The confinement to my house, and the solitary nature of the work, were sometimes very confronting. Talking and writing about anxiety made my own anxiety levels rise as well.

What an opportunity to practice the exercises that I was promoting in my course!

About the Four Powerful Exercises of the Course

The 4-Week Online Course with Exercises for Anxiety and Panic Attacks is based on four simple, yet powerful exercises:

Abdominal Breathing
Conscious Relaxation
Awareness Practice

These exercises not only help to cultivate calmness, relaxation and wellbeing in everyday life. They also help to diminish the fear of getting an anxiety attack when alone or in public places. It does so by increasing awareness of body and mind, leading to a closer connection to the sensations in our body.

Learn how to apply the main breathing exercise of the course in this article!

Why Create a Close Connection to the Sensations in our Body?

A close connection to the sensations in our body helps us to not be overwhelmed by intense feelings like anxiety or panic. It helps us to stay present throughout the experience instead of running away from it through distractions, alcohol, drugs or food.

The simple tools of breath, grounding, awareness and relaxation are always available to us, wherever we are. When we practice their use on a regular basis, we can readily apply them in difficult situations of anxiety and panic. At home and in public places.

Read more about facing fear, anxiety and panic attacks by turning inward in this article.

These Exercises were my Saviour

These four exercises were my saviour when I suffered from anxiety disorder and panic attacks 15 years ago. They helped me to recover, and to live life fuller than before the anxiety disorder.

If you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks yourself, I highly recommend following the course:


Money should not be a barrier to follow the course. If you have limited financial resources, let me know and we will find another construction.

Lessons I learned from Creating this Course

Never before in my life have I practiced perseverance as much as in the past year. Every morning I started with a work-out in nature to get my energy running. When I returned home I worked on the course for 4-5 hours, whether I felt inspired that day or not.

My biggest challenge was letting go of negative thoughts about myself and about the results of my work. Very often I was not satisfied with the material I created, with the way I looked on camera, or with my own voice.

Every day I had to remind myself that I didn’t have to be perfect, as long as my message was coming from my heart. Because human connection and sharing of experiences is much more important than the shape it comes in!

So this is the result: a heartfelt, personal course. May it benefit whoever needs it.


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